Mrs Smith Strikes Again!

When we lived in the house previous to this one - about 650 years ago - we discovered that the man who owned the house had the unfortunate experience of his mother kicking the bucket in the house while visiting him. Her name was Mrs. Smith - and - after we moved in, things would disappear - only to reappear after I had torn the house apart. I call it the Mrs. Smith phenomenon!

Well, it seems as though Mrs. Smith has followed us to this house and we are still having trouble with stuff vanishing into thin air - and reappearing - just when I am at my wits end. (Not that I have much wits left!)

This week, it is the income tax papers. I have an appointment tomorrow with George - our lovely old CPA - who is about 112 years old - but knows the IRS inside and out. I started to gather all the paper work together last week but couldn't put my hand on Mr. Indi'sW2 - The most important paper of all! Argggg! I have spent hours looking through the file cabinets - desk drawers - bedside tables - and under the bed with the dust bunnies - but NO LUCK! Finally, Mr. Indi called his work and asked for a duplicate - we filled out all the proper forms and sent in $30 in the hope that we would get the form before April 15 - the magic deadline.

So - this morning, I decided to go through the file cabinet - one more time - and - YES - there it was - the W2. That bloody Mrs. Smith has been here again! Grrr! Do you believe in ghosts? I do!

Mr. Indi has had another bladder infection and Claudia (nurse) has had to flush his bladder and change his catheter and bag (Ouch!) But his water is much nicer today! - I hear that on the shuttle they are reconstituting urine into drinking water - there's a thought!

I'm feeling a bit better - still coughing like a sailor on Woodbines! but my chest is a bit better each day. Not any bigger - but better!

The pic is one I took last week - I hope to get out with my camera in the next few days - spring is blooming and I want to catch it.

p.s. - Thank you for all of the kind messages - we love you all xxxxxx

Walking Up and Down the Hall

Walking up and down the hall

50 times a day

I do it because I know you can't

Walk down the hall to me

I hate the loneliness of the house

Now that you are in that room

That prison that keeps you from joining me

And keeps me in this gloom

I am sad and weary from that walk

But it's all worth while - to see your smile - as I make it through the door

xxxxxx

The rose is in my garden - a little out of focus!

It Goes On!

Well, we survived another day - and I am sooooooooo grateful for all of the kind and considerate messages from friends, family, and strangers. It helps me cope - Thank You All xxxxxxx

I'm happy to say that my own health seems to be improving - so - when I got up this morning, at 5 a.m, to a nasty pancake in a diaper - I actually coped quite well. I am getting very good at the poopy bottom routine - and the hospice company has given me some spray-on poopy bottom soap stuff. It is a tremendous help - but I still have to open the bedroom window. LOL! Still, the weather has improved and there is a nice spring breeze in the air!

A social worker from the hospice company called me this morning. She asked about the ins and outs of .......well, you know what! She wanted to know if John and I have made arrangements for his funeral yet. Argggg. John believes that he will live for another year or two (fat chance!) and he is not ready to talk about his funeral. I already have the funeral arrangements in my head - but not on paper. I suppose that I should tell someone what we want - in case I get run over by a bus!

The nurse's aid (who is supposed to supply diapers) didn't have any diapers when she came last Wednesday - and now she won't be back till Monday. So - I have been to the store and got some more Depends. I'm not too happy about them as they have changed the design to suit men who have bladder control problems - not poopy problems. I suppose I could put them on backwards! That BIG bladder catcher will work for the other end!

The social worker wanted to send a pastor to talk to us - I declined the offer. John's dying - what's the point? Please don't write and tell me that you have a point.

The yellow rose is growing in my garden - I need to prune all the roses - when I get the time.

A Big Leg!

I was awoken at 4 a.m. this morning by this little voice wimpering "help - help" I dived out of the bed and into Mr. Indi's room next door. There he was with one of his legs hanging over the side of the bed. This gets really scary because he is a big chap and I'm afraid that the weight of one leg could cause him to fall over the edge of the bed and that would make an almighty THUMP!

I managed to lift the leg back into bed - those dead legs are very heavy - and - at 4 in the morning - even more so! I made us a nice cup of tea and - once I had him situated - I curled up on the couch with my blankie. But, no sleep.

Mr. Indi's morphine is now impairing his speech and behaviour. I am not very happy about this as he is loopy much of the time - but the hospice people are more concerned with his pain than anything else - understandable - I suppose. But, I now feel that I have lost my husband altogether.

I had some sad news today - my lovely cousin, Jan, has breast cancer. I think they have caught it early enough - my thoughts are with her xxxxx

Not much to add - just lots of sadness.

I took the picture the other day.

Flowers From Ann

This beautiful basket of flowers came yesterday - from my dear friend Ann B. in England. It's amazing how well those flowers held up during that 6000 mile flight! LOL. Thank you so much my friend and a big kiss to Jules and Holly - I love you all xxx

Each day gets a little harder. My arms are very stiff from my arthritis - it flared up badly when I got this virus. This means that trying to change blue sheets and diapers has become a bit of a nightmare - to the point that brings me to tears at times. But, I must carry on.

They (the big THEY) (the hospice care) has increased Mr. Indi's morphine to 45mg every 8 hours plus sublingual as needed. This, in conjunction with the gabapentin has made him a little bit loopy at times - I find him singing and talking to himself - and his imaginary friends - Oh dear!

Today, we had a meeting with a financial advisor that had been referred to us from Mr. Indi's work. She was a very pleasant and knowledgeable attorney from New York who advised us what would happen to Mr. Indi's pension and savings ($7.50) when he dies. It seems that I will be worth about $10 - after funeral expenses! I told him that I will save some money by floating him down the Santa Ana river on a barge - aflame! He quite liked the idea. Flaming arrows and all of that!

The weather can't seem to make up it's mind - it's not quite hot - but it's not quite cold. I am looking forward to a bit of heat - my poor old bod could use the vitamin D. I did manage to water all of my pots yesterday - some of them are very sad! (read DEAD) But, I am hoping that once this virus has gone, I will be able to have a good go with the secateurs and Miracle Grow. My philosophy with plants is grow or die - I don't care! Please yerself!

Back in the Saddle!

Does anyone remember that old song? "I'm back in the saddle again?" Well, that's how I'm feeling - although, I hope this horse doesn't buck me off! I'm still coughing and feeling a bit fragile - but I think I'm going to survive!

Mr. Indi is now on Home Hospice Care. It is quite different from the Home Health Care in that they provide everything - all of his drugs, diapers, blue sheets, lotions, shampoo and everything else that is part of his comfort. We have a lady who comes to bathe him twice a week and she is really lovely. Her name is Blanca and she is from El Salvador. She and Mr. Indi get along like a house on fire and spend the entire time that she is bathing him yacking about this that and the other! He loves her.

The nurses who come to check on him are also very kind. They all are on top of his pain management and general comfort. They ordered us a Hoya lift so that I may be able to get him in and out of bed and possibly into the wheelchair for a little while (pain permitting.) I haven't tried it yet as I'm still a bit weak - but Blanca is coming tomorrow and will guide me through it.

I still don't think that I am cut out to be a nurse! Emptying the bedpan is a horrible job - changing a crappy diaper (on a 230lb man) is even worse! But - I do what I do and I know that he would do the same for me.

Now that I'm feeling a bit better, I hope to be able to get up the energy to water my garden and take care of my pots - the poor things are neglected! I do need an outlet - I spend 16-20 hours a day on patient care - my poor flowers need me!

I hope you all like the pic of Mr. Indi without a beard! LOL! The pic was taken about 8 years ago in Reading, England. We don't look the same now! I have spiky hair and he has an Albert Einstein do!

Back From the Grave!

Well, I feel like I'm back from the grave! I have had a horrible virus that really knocked me for a loop. But - I am getting better and a little stronger each day. The doc said that I was on the verge of pneumonia - so I had to cut back on all of my activities - including blogging!

Mr. Indi is doing OK but I fear that he may have caught my bug - even when I have been so careful with handwashing, etc. I am hoping that he doesn't get as sick as I - it will do him in!

His paralysis has moved up to encompass his bowel and bladder. The bladder isn't a problem because he has a catheter but it's a nightmare for me to get up and have to look at a dirty diaper at 5 in the morning. Puts me right off my first cup of tea!

Thank you to everyone who has sent messages during my illness. And thank you to my family for being kind and calling almost daily. And thank you to my friend from San Diego who drove the 100 miles to see me. Love you all xxxx

No pic today - don't have the energy to look for one!

I Must be Cursed!

In the past week:

I returned a new computer mouse to my son - who got it for my b'day - it didn't work

I bought a CD player for my husband that had to be returned because it didn't work

I bought an earpiece for my cell phone that had to be returned because it didn't work

The garage door broke - while it was open!

The freezer door opened itself in the middle of the night and I got up to a soaking wet - and cold - kitchen floor and half thawed out food.

My car started making chirping noises

My gardener's helper got run over by my neighbor

Mr. Indi can no longer tell when a poop is imminent

I have developed bronchitis

Where's the gun?

The pic is one I took today of some lovely blue iris - and I would like to thank my friend in Maine for her pic of blue iris too. xx

Nothing But Junk!

It seems that everything that I buy lately has to be taken back because it's BROKE! Grrr! Yesterday, I bought a wrap around ear piece for my cell phone so that I would be in compliance with the stupid "hands free" cell phone law. To me, talking on the cell phone while driving is dangerous and using an ear piece doesn't make it safer! But hey ho - I need to have my cell phone with me at all times because his Lordship usually decides to have a bowel movement while I'm driving to the bank!

So, rather than face the wrath of the local sheriff, I broke down and bought an ear piece. I got it home and tried it out - it didn't work. Mr. Indi said I was doing it wrong! What? All you need to do is shove it in yer ear! So, Mr. Know-It-All tried it for himself and found that it is BROKE! Our sister sister was here and she had a go with it. It didn't work. After using the rotten thing on 3 separate cell phones we all came to the conclusion that - yes indeed - the bloody thing is BROKE! I now have to take it back to the cell phone shop and exchange it - what a pain.

I had a terrible night with very little sleep but I was out like a light when, at 2:30 a.m., Mr. Indi dropped his tele clicker on the floor and caused me to shoot out of my bed like a bullet. It seems that he was groping around trying to find his bottle of water when he knocked the darn thing on the floor. Anyway, that was the end of my beauty sleep - and it shows today! Got the uglies!

The weather is still very grey and cool - although I should not complain because it is much more comfortable than that 100F that will be here soon enough.

I took the picture of the freesias this morning. They are really coming out now.

Good News and the Other Stuff!

My gardener came back early this morning to finish the job that was soooooo rudely interrupted yesterday when his helper was run over by the old bag next door! Am happy to report that, after a couple of x-rays, Carlos was deemed to be OK by the doc and released from the hospital. He is badly bruised and will be off work for a couple of weeks but no lasting injuries. I was so glad to hear that news.

Our sister sister came yesterday and had a very nice visit with her brother and I. She was very tickled with the book that I received for my b'day - called California Missions. She especially liked the photos of San Juan Bautiste and, of course, Mission San Jose - her Mother House. She will be back today and I hope she can stay with his Lordship for a while as I have to go to the English store - I have run out of Bisto - horrors! And I also could use some Walker's crisps - salt and vinegar....YUM!

As Mr. Indi looses more feeling in his lower half, he is now having lots of trouble in determining whether he needs to use the pot - or not! So, he is now in a diaper full time - and a jolly good thing too, I say! However, there is nothing quite like changing a crappy diaper on a 230 lb man at 5:30 a.m. My poor old arms are barely able to move at that hour - arthritis. Still, we managed and I did enjoy my first cup of tea even though it was a bit late!

We met with the hospice lady again the other day. I know that we shall have to go down that route but I can see that there will be some problems. It seems that when we do go with the hospice, the other agency (home health care) will be coming to pick up the hospital bed and wheelchair and the hospice people will deliver their own equipment. What a flippin' joke. The lady (nurse) who came to talk to us, didn't seem to realize that Mr. Indi is paralyzed and is unable to sit in a wheelchair for more than 15-20 mins without great pain to his spine. But, she assured me that there would be coordination between the two agencies and he would not be uncomfortable. Hmmmm! We'll see. I'm dreading it. But, we still have a few more visits from home health care before we have to switch.

While we were discussing the services offered by the hospice agency, the lady said that one of the things that Mr. Indi would enjoy would be the volunteers who can come and sit with him and play cards or board games! ARGGGGGGGG! If there is one thing that Mr. Indi is in NO mood for it's cards and board games!

Today is grey and gloomy - and so am I!

This pic is from last summer in the park at Redlands.

Some Days.........

As though I wasn't stressed out enough - I looked out of the kitchen window this morning to see my gardener's helper lying on top of the large industrial lawn mower with his legs pinned under the gardener's truck. Argggg! It seems that the woman who lives next door - a 75 year old ding bat - had run over Carlos as she drove by. I just could not believe it.

Within minutes, we had a fire truck, an ambulance and 2 police officers swarming all over the place. The ambulance took Carlos to the hospital and the EMTs said that he appeared to be OK but might have a broken shoulder. The police measured everything - made marks in the road - interviewed the ding bat and had the gardener show them both of his lawnmowers. I expect they will be round here to interview me before the day is over - even though I didn't see anything.

I can't write any more - too stressed.

Our sister sister is coming later today. She sent us this lovely vase of flowers for our wedding anniversary. They are so pretty and have lasted for ages.

Watch This Space.

Lots going on here - things going right - things going wrong! Grrr. Will write the blog tomorrow.

Here I am!

After a too short visit, Anjo is now back home - she had a good flight - a bit bumpy but aren't we all! Last I heard, she was sitting with her bum on the radiator - I, on the other hand, have had my bum in the chaise - soaking up a few rays this afternoon! I do hope you poor people get some warm weather soon.

I want to tell you all that Anjo was a great help to me. She did lots of skivvying - and didn't eat much! My fridge is cleaned out and all of those strange things on the top shelf have been rehomed - in the rubbish! The spare room has been tidied and the toilets have been plunged! She is a star!

We had another lovely birthday party at the weekend - although it was very sad. We all squeezed into Mr. Indi's room and I opened my presents there - lots of lovely stuff: a super book on the California Missions, a case of Newcastle and spotted knickers from Marks and Sparks! A great variety of great presents!

I want to thank all of the lovely family and friends who sent me birthday messages, cards and flowers. I love you all xx

Mr. Indi is weak but doing OK. He spent at least 4 hours today working from home - on his computer and on the phone. He still feels the need to work - it keeps him going. Tomorrow, we will make an appointment with the hospice lady. His Lordship has decided to go with hospice - there doesn't seem to be much in the way of alternatives. I agree with his decision - I just want him to be comfortable and free from pain.

Hi Rosie - thanks for your concern re: bed sores. The nurse (RN) came today gave his Lordship the once over. His only real problem is on his right elbow but I am keeping my eye on it - he wears elbow pads and I am using Desitin at least twice a day - he also keeps his elbows on pillows. I turn him every two hours - even though it's like moving a moose! But, he is a wonderful patient and doesn't mind when I shove him around! It's great to be in charge!

The pic is from my bookay of b'day flowers! They smell like .......er.......flowers!

Too Busy to Think!

No blog today - too busy. Toilets backed up! Argg!

Have to take Anjo to LAX! Arggg!

Mr. Indi had a terrible night - must call doc re: morphine increase. Arggggggg!

The freesia is in my front garden. They always flower for my b'day.

B'day was good - especially the Newcastle!

What a Cake!

Yesterday, I had a special anniversary luncheon and as a gift, the manager of the restaurant sent out this lovely gooey chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream. It was soooooooooooo yummy!

Have not had much time for the blog. Mr. Indi gets weaker by the day - but his spirits are still good. He has lost more of the use of his legs - in fact they are now gone completely. This means that I have to push around more dead weight when changing his diaper and/or the bed linens. And - as a result, my poor old elbows are as sore as boils! It's at time like this that I wish I was 150lbs instead of a scrawny old bird! I must eat more chocolate!

We watched the movie last night and we chose the sing along version - I don't think his Lordship was amused! But he did like the scenery and thankfully the movie was not too long so I was able to tuck him in bed by 8:30.

My birthday tomorrow. Not looking forward to it. Will drink lots of Bailey's - or something.

27 Years!

Today is our wedding anniversary! 27 years - Wow - it doesn't seem a day over 26!

I dug this picture out of the very old picture box! We got married in Reno, Nevada. Don't you just love the archway of artificial roses! Such class!

We were married at 8:00 p.m. and then went out on the town with our friends (and witnesses) Kathy and Charlie. I have another picture somewhere that was taken at about 2 in the morning - I have my bouquet on my head and am cross-eyed! I won't post that one!

Anjo has bought us the video of Mama Mia for a anniversary gift. Neato - we shall all watch it tonight in Mr. Indi's room.

His Lordship is doing OK today but I had a terrible night. Didn't have any Bailey's - that must be the problem! Must remember to drink Bailey's before retiring.

Yellow is Mellow!

The arrangement was that the nurse would come at 5:30 p.m. to insert the catheter. So we waited - and waited - and waited and at 6:15 Mr. Indi called the home care agency to ask if the nurse was coming. Oh yes - she should be there in 15 mins. Okie Dokie.

By 7:00 p.m. Anjo and I decided to wait no longer - and to make our dinner - egg and chips. We were just in the middle of eating it, when the nurse showed up! ARGGGGGG! Do these people work in a different time dimension? So - I had to leave my lovely, yummy egg and chips and bread and butter and go with the nurse into his Lordship's room in order to help him answer a whole bunch of questions re: his meds, etc.

The nurse was nice enough but spent WAY too much time telling us how she decided to become a nurse AND what a wonderful nurse she is AND how much she cares for people because of her own experience while having children. I wanted to slap her up the side of the earole and tell her to shurrup and put the catheter in! Cor struth!

By the time she was finished - about 8:15 p.m. - my dinner was cold, Mr. Indi was off his dinner altogether, Anjo had scarfed the lot and started the washing up! I settled for a large Bailey's on the rocks and Mr. Indi just went right to sleep! We all slept well, knowing that Mr. Indi's bladder was happily emptying itself throughout the night!

Not much on the agenda today - maybe I will be able to get out for an hour with my camera. Anjo is cleaning windows and washing curtains. Mad woman!

Today's picture is part of another lovely bunch of flowers that was received last weekend.

It Hurts!

Well - today lots of things hurt. The blood tests were found and the doctor would not even give us the results. His advise - hospice - because there is nothing else that can be done. Well, we knew that - but didn't want to hear it. That hurt.

Poor Mr. Indi can no longer have a good piddle without a great struggle - so when the home health nurse came this morning she examined him and determined that he has water retention and needs a catheter. She will be here later this afternoon to insert one. That hurts!

I keep Mr. Indi's urinal stuff clean by rinsing with a drop of bleach. Today, I gave him a clean urinal bottle that I had not drained properly and had a little bleach water left in the bottom of it. Unfortunately, he tipped the bottle back too far and bleached his family jewels! That hurt.

I still have great trouble with my throat and should not eat anything with sharp edges. Today, I ate crisps. That hurt!

AND, as you can see by the photo - they don't make hospital beds big enough for two people!

All around - not one of our better days!

Night of the Living!

So me and Anjo went to bed last night after a long day of shopping, washing, general skivvying and cooking a delish dinner of BBQ ribs, baked spud with sour cream, tossed salad with avocado slathered in blue cheese dressing and washed down with a Baily's on the rocks.

Mr. Indi enjoyed his dinner but washed it down with a glass of water. He had spent half the afternoon on the phone trying to chase down his blood test results - which seem to have vanished into thin air - and so was very thirsty.

By 10:00 p.m. everyone is fast asleep and curled up in their blankies with their binkies. Me and Anjo in the big bed - his Lordship in the room next door in his clanking hospital bed.

10:30 - Mr. Indi starts shouting for some assistance. He has had a plumbing problem in the bed which has caused a massive overflow! I dive out of bed and spend 30 mins changing his bum and the bed.

11:30 - Back in bed and I am finally dozing off. Anjo is snoring like an old sow. I stick my elbow in her ribs.

2:45 - Alarm clock goes off - BEEP BEEP BEEP! What the? Anjo has been dusting and has set the alarm. We both dive out of the bed and (without any glasses on) peer at the buttons and dials on the clock and after pushing several buttons - it stops! Heaven!

3:05 BEEP BEEP BEEP - Argggg! It's doing it again! Anjo puts her eyeballs in and finally figures out how to stop the bloody thing.

4:00 Anjo starts clicking! I don't know where the clicking is coming from and I don't want to speculate but I shove her over onto her side and the clicking stops.

4:30 Mr. Indi starts cranking his bed up and down in order to attract my attention - he needs a cup of cha!

5:00 I lie on the couch in the living room and the neighbors dog stars barking! ARGGGGG! Where is the gun?

The End!

The good news is - I went to the docs today and my blood pressure is so good that it is dropping too low! You can't win for losing!

The picture was taken last weekend. Anjo and her BIG birthday balloon for very old women!

Dandruff in a Can!

So I sprayed my hair with the gold spray - but it came out as sparkles rather than gold coloring - if you know what I mean. Anyway, it didn't look bad and, in fact, Anjo said that it looked very pretty in the sunlight. However, when she took a photo to show off my new look, it looks as though I have a very bad case of dandruff! Sparkly dandruff! Maybe I'll try the florescent green next!

Yesterday was beautiful and must have got up to at least 90F by mid-afternoon (32C) and Anjo was just loving every minute of it; lying on the chaise like a tourist at Southend-on-Sea! Mr. Indi, on the other hand, was not amused and insisted that I turn on the A/C until the bedroom felt like a meat locker and I finally had to turn it off as I was turning blue each time I ventured to the back of the house.

I had to buy a new set of walkie talkies as the other ones never did work right and ended up in the bin! The new ones have a range of 18 miles - Now, the problem is, I can't think of anyplace that is 18 miles away that I particularly want to be at! 20 miles would be much better!

Mr. Indi was very lethargic yesterday and spent most of the day resting and looking at the Sunday crossword. We didn't try to get him into the wheelchair - I was afraid that he was too weak to use the transfer board. It was his last day of Cipro and so we are hoping he will get a little more energy now that the anti-biotics are finished. I will be calling the doctors office today to find out what the news is re: the blood tests.

One of Mr. Indi's workmates came by to visit for an hour and that cheered him up. The visitor came bearing gifts! Chocolate covered apricots! I'm sure that they are very bad for his Lordship so Anjo and I will have to eat them - it's the least we can do.

The photo shows off my dandruff quite well, don't you think?

This and That and T'other!

Well, apart from Lillian, the home health aide (bed baths and clean sheets) everyone else has run out of authorizations to visit Mr. Indi and they are abandoning ship! I think the doctor will recommend home hospice care as an alternative - but I'm not sure that his Lordship will go along with that idea. It is, after all, admitting to the fact that this is the end of the road. We shall just have to wait and see.

In the meantime, we exchanged the humongous wheelchair for the standard version but I now find it much more difficult to maneuver Mr. Indi into it as there is less bum room for him to slide on the transfer board. I'm so afraid that he will end up on the floor. Maybe we should go back to the jumbo bum sized chair! Grrr. The wheelchair people will start to think we are nuts!

Yesterday, my DIL's parents came to the house and made dinner for me and Anjo as a joint b'day gift. It was very nice too. Hungarian Goulash over egg noodles washed down with a nice red - followed by Baileys on the rocks and chocolate cake- what more can one want for? Took lots of pictures but can't post them until I find the wrinkle removing part of my photo program!

Weather is lovely - 75 to 80F. Anjo did a little sunbathing yesterday - no bikini though - we didn't want to set the neighbors dog off!

Thank you everyone for the kind comments re: me and Anjo in the garden - glad that everyone likes my spikes. Today I am spraying the tips with gold spray! OK - I know - I've lost it!

Today's pic is from a lovely bunch of flowers rec'd yesterday.