Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Bravest Man I Have Ever Known


My husband was the bravest man that I have ever known. Oh, he was terrified of heights and would not go swimming in the ocean for fear that a shark would swallow him whole - BUT - he battled the horrible disease of prostate cancer for almost seven years with guts and dignity and more bravery than I could ever muster.


For over six long years he took everything that the medical community could throw at him and yet he carried on with his life and with his work without a complaint about his illness.
He had a radical prostatectomy when first diagnosed - but the cancer cells were already in his lymph glands and he knew from that day that this dreadful disease would kill him


He had many, many sessions of chemotherapy - some lasting as long as 8 hours - but after one day of rest, he would be back up at 3:00 a.m. and driving 40 miles to his office.


He endured years of female hormone treatments that made him terribly ill with hot flashes and blood pressure problems but he never complained - rather, he often remarked on how hard it must be for women to go through menopause and how he wished that he could have understood my 'hot thingies' earlier


He had two sessions of radiation treatment. The first session comprised of one treatment every day for five days a week for a total of six weeks. He arranged to have the treatments late in the afternoon so that he could go to work in the morning. He never missed one day of work during that time.


After the prostate cancer had metastasized into bone cancer and he became paralyzed, he arranged to work from home and up until 2 weeks ago he could be found bashing away on his computer at 5 a.m.


He was kind - He was generous - He was brave.


I posted this picture because this is the way I shall always remember my handsome, funny, clever Mr. Indi.


10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Darling Sis,

John will be remembered with great love and affection. The gentle giant who was kind, funny, generous and inspirational. Such a brave brave man.

You to have shown bravery beyond measure, you loved him, cared for him and made his final journey as calm and dignified as was possible. You must now rest and regain
your strength.

Will be with you soon, all my love Anjo XX

Daria said...

Based on what I've read in your blog ... John must have been an amazing man.

I am so sorry for your lose.

Anonymous said...

Pam

My heart goes out to you at this very very sad time.

John will always be in our hearts. He was a very brave man indeed.

You have shown courage that most people don't ever have to think about finding. You must do as Anjo says and look after yourself.

All my love

Annxxxxx

Angela said...

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal....

Two brave souls, as one, on a long and difficult journey in the knowledge that each would take a different path in the end......but always together.

Love Angela xx

Sybalan said...

Dear Indi,
my thoughts are with you, Remember the happy times, you both were very brave indeed, and fought a hard battle, and I know what you went through and are going through now, you gave every ounce of care and energy to look after John,
now you must look after your self,

My love is with you,
Take care
Sybil xxxxx

Anonymous said...

Po atarau
E moea iho nei
E haere ana
Koe ki pamamao

Haere ra
Ka hoki mai ano
Ki i te tau
E tangi atu nei

On a moonlit night
I see in a dream
You going
To a distant land

Farewell,
But to return again
To your loved one,
Weeping here

I am so sorry and sad, although I never met John, I have come to admire him, your love and dedication to each other so much.

He is gone physically but his love for you will never ever die, and you will carry it in your heart forever.

Now is your time to rest, recover your strength and then when you are stonger to reflect on what a wonderful, joyful life you had to together.

Many tears will have been shed around the world for you and your beautiful, brave John.

Aroha

Yor xx

Lexi said...

A man that made an impression on strangers and friends.
Quiet but firm and even more stern.
Strength and courage I have learned from you, but being without you is hard to do.
A man with pride in every step he made.
A man with vigor in every phrase.

The tears I've shed cannot surpass the smiles and the laughs we had with you.
To feel your pain I could not do, to feel your joy I cannot explain, but being without is hard to do.
A man with pride in every step he made.
A man with vigor in every phrase.

A man that defined the word grand as only a real man can.
To know you're in a better place soothes my pain.
Knowing you're watching over me makes me sane.
A man with pride in every step he made.
A man with vigor in every phrase.

Go in peace and know you were loved…

Author unknown

mandymoo said...

Dear Aunty Pee, I cant stop thinking about you & the hurt you are going through, there are so many evil wicked people in the world & this cruel illness had got to the kindest gentlest man I ever met .
Please look after yourself aunty Ang will be with you soon .
All my love & hugs Moo XXXXXX

Anonymous said...

I have shed many tears reading your blog. You were both very lucky to have found each other and to share a wonderful love. Parting must have been very hard but know you will never be alone as John will always be in your heart. Take care of yourself and cherish your memories.

Irene (Roots)

l said...

Indi,

What a beautiful picture, you made such a lovely couple. Thank you for sharing all the pictures of John, through the good and bad. He was quite a guy!

Lexi